A Surreal Week

It started with an odd e-mail on Thursday… “Grandma is really sick and took a turn for the worse last night…” She had been on sublingual morphine since then and unresponsive. For the last few days every time my phone rang I jumped. Paul and I spent a lot more time together worrying and wishing we were in Minnesota. I was surprised she lasted thru Thursday at all.

The call finally came today while I was at work. My sister called, she always is the one left to tell me bad news, to say that Grandma died today in the morning. Grandpa was with her but she had already left days before.

I left work and came home to my empty house. Steve was at work, Paul had a gig, and Beth had a class. I sat alone and cried because I was sad that I no longer had a grandma but happy that she was finally allowed to go to heaven. I went for a run and in the evening Paul and Beth, my only family for miles, came over and drank and ate and spoke of happy memories of the woman who was the matriarch of the family for so many years.

It’s hard to be sad for yourself but happy for someone else. I know Grandma wanted to move on, but it’s hard to be left behind.