Starting Again
I started running between my freshman and sophomore year for a number of reasons. I had gained almost 25 lbs. my freshman year (I know it’s a lot!) and I wasn’t being active and I didn’t like the way I looked. I started out only being able to run a few blocks but added a more distance everyday. By the time I went back to school I was running about one and half miles ever morning. I kept running while I was at school (barring early morning classes) and started to use the treadmill in the bottom of my dorm. My sophomore year was a very unhappy year so on top running everyday I stopped eating a lot and became very sick most of the time.
By the end of the year I was still sad, still not eating, and running. The sadness followed me home and I became obsessed with running. Not a “For the Love of Nancy” kind of way but because running was one thing I could do when my brain could turn off, I wouldn’t think about all the choices I had to make or what was going on in my life. I could just focus on my breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. I started running a few miles at night before I went to bed (something I never told my parents about) and then in the morning when I woke up.
By the time my junior year and nursing school rolled around I had lost almost 40 lbs. I started to have early classes and didn’t have time to run as much any more, but I didn’t have to. I was very happy and no longer needed as much time zoned out on the run to feel better. I stopped running as much.
When I moved to Boston I almost gave up running altogether. Work makes me too sore to do much when I get home and there is no way I would get up to run before work. The last few years I barely ran at all or for any distance when I did run. Then a few weeks ago the weather started to get nice out and I wanted to be a part of it. I laced up my running shoes and went for a run; it wasn’t a misery like when I started it was run to enjoy myself. It felt great, my legs stretching, being aware of my body, seeing my neighborhood in a new way.
I’ve gone for a nice run the last two days and I’m going to do it again. It’s nice to have running back again.
By the end of the year I was still sad, still not eating, and running. The sadness followed me home and I became obsessed with running. Not a “For the Love of Nancy” kind of way but because running was one thing I could do when my brain could turn off, I wouldn’t think about all the choices I had to make or what was going on in my life. I could just focus on my breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. I started running a few miles at night before I went to bed (something I never told my parents about) and then in the morning when I woke up.
By the time my junior year and nursing school rolled around I had lost almost 40 lbs. I started to have early classes and didn’t have time to run as much any more, but I didn’t have to. I was very happy and no longer needed as much time zoned out on the run to feel better. I stopped running as much.
When I moved to Boston I almost gave up running altogether. Work makes me too sore to do much when I get home and there is no way I would get up to run before work. The last few years I barely ran at all or for any distance when I did run. Then a few weeks ago the weather started to get nice out and I wanted to be a part of it. I laced up my running shoes and went for a run; it wasn’t a misery like when I started it was run to enjoy myself. It felt great, my legs stretching, being aware of my body, seeing my neighborhood in a new way.
I’ve gone for a nice run the last two days and I’m going to do it again. It’s nice to have running back again.
posted by Maria @ 11:09 AM
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