Who Is This Girl?

Steve is back after a week away. I hate the person I become when he is gone. You would think that after I have lived 23 years pretty much a single woman I could survive a week without my boyfriend. Fact of the matter is I don't do a very good job of it. I make excuses like "I don't like taking care of the cat" or "The house creeps me out alone" which are only slightly valid for why I dislike that he is away. Through most of college I had an absentee roommate so I know how to live alone. I cat is only a pain at night or early morning.

It bothers me how much I miss him or how excited I get when he comes home. I tried to find stuff to do while he is gone but even still I miss him. I remember when I was in college feeling so independent and vowing never to become dependent on a man. I feel like I've betrayed that me. The problem is sometimes I wonder if that is a bad thing. Steve is soon going to be my family. I miss them when they are not with me. I don't see how this should be any different.

I guess, there is a little war going on inside of me. The side that wants to be an independent woman and the part that is going to be a devoted wife. The next few years should be interesting to see how I find a balance and be a balanced person both with and without Steve.