Standing Tall

House Hunters

2011-05-19T22:20:00.002-05:00

About a year after Steve and I started dating we came up with a plan to move to Chicago. We would be married in this plan and we would both be moving back to the midwest to start a family. Chicago being the ideal place as it is half way between where his family lives and where mine is. Last August Steve and I made good on that plan and uprooted ourselves (and one unhappy cat) half way across the country to Chicago to start a new life, one based on family.

Part of this plan was to buy a house and start a family of our own. Around January we started on that plan. The buying a house part of the plan. We contacted a few realtors and started to look at some neighborhoods in Chicago and a few suburbs. We started to ask ourselves "what do I want from a house" and looked at what felt like a thousand houses. Some houses were foreclosed on (which was really depressing to look at), some were serious fixer-uppers, and some were ok. We found one we liked, that we would be ok with and we put an offer in some time mid-march.

Yes, the house we wanted to buy needed some work, but of what we looked at, we liked it the most. We put a closing date a bit far out so we wouldn't have to find a sub-leaser for our apartment in Chicago and we waited. Yesterday we heard from the bank that we got the "ok" on our loan and we are a go to close on the new house come June 1st. We are nervous and giddy at the same time. I will post pictures once we are moved in and start some changes to the new house.

One small leap for the real estate industry , one giant leap for Maria-and Steve kind.

On Running

2011-05-14T17:54:00.002-05:00

Ok, I haven't blogged in a very long time. Winter always seems to get me down and with down come a feeling of un-inspirtion which leads to no blog posts. But now spring is here and with it the feeling of productivity so I shall try to post a bit more frequently.

To start off the spring season I ran the Shamrock Shuffle last month. Running and I have quiet a history. When I was in high school and on the swim team I hated "dry land" days because that would require us to run. I'm not sure how far we would run, maybe a mile or so, but I would always be the one in the back. Trotting along at a pace that was just barley faster then a walk. Running was something I had to get through to get back into the pool.

When I went to college I quit all forms of organized sports and spent most of my freshmen year reading, drinking, and eating carbs. Occasionally I would swim in the pool in the basement of my dorm but I never pushed myself. I came home the summer after that year over 20 lbs. heavier. It sounds very vain, but the extra weight bothered me (keep in mind I was a lifeguard at this time so I was wearing a swimsuit everyday). On top of being a little more on the heavy side I also felt like I had lost a lot of strength. So one day I woke up and decided to run.

My first self directed run was about a total of 6 blocks with a break in the middle. Every day I would try to run, and every day I would run a bit further. I went back to school and kept up with the running. I would run in the morning before class, outside if it was nice, or on the treadmill if it wasn't. It became away for me to escape.

I would run away from the bio final that I had been worrying about all week, or the boy problems that were causing me anxiety. I would run away from worrying about not getting into the nursing school, or about where I should go to nursing school. I would just run.

The summer before my junior year of college was one of the most stressful times in my life. I started to run two times a day and would slip out around midnight without telling my family and just run. It made me feel good (even though I know it was not a very good idea to do this). I would feel like I was more alive durning these runs then any other part of my day. I kept running through the rest of my college career and would occasionally run once I moved to Boston.

There was a short time while I lived in Boston that I stopped running. I worked what felt like all the time and I was also trying to spend any spare time I had with my boyfriend, Steve. After a few years of dating Steve and I moved in together and all my time wasn't splint between work and spending time with my boyfriend so I started to run again. Running became less of a way for me to escape what was going on but just a way for me to enjoy my life. I also started to run some races. 5K's only, the idea of more then a 5K seem daunting.

A few months ago my friend, B, suggested I run the Shamrock Shuffle 8K with her, The run works out to be about 5 mile, which is more then I have ever run but seemed like a do-able distance. I wouldn't say i "trained" for this race but I did try to extend my runs a few blocks on occasion. I did have a goal of trying to run the race in less than 1 hour.

So on the day of the race, the warmest day we have had in Chicago yet, I ran. I ran through the streets of downtown Chicago with an amazing friend and it was one of the most enjoyable things I have done since I moved here. What makes me feel even better is I pulled in a great time of 54:00.

I'm not going to say this has inspired me to run anything longer then an 8K. I will say however, that I realize how important it is for me to stay active and have goals for myself. I will definitely be lacing up my running shoes again for a race soon.

When You Got to Go

2011-02-06T10:04:00.002-06:00

I've been meaning to post this story for months but never got around to it.

Some time ago, maybe it was October or November, I was taking the L home from work. It was late evening, I was tired, and L was crowded and I was trying not to make eye contact with anyone. The crowd began to thin out a bit as the train wound it's way more North. In between two stops a guy, maybe in his mid 20's, got up from his seat, opened the door between to the two cars and stood outside as we were moving. He didn't enter the next car, he seems to just want to stand outside. Another girl and I watched him.

"Umm, you don't think he's going to jump do you?" I asked.

"God, I hope not!" she said and in my mind I added, it would really make my commute a lot longer if he did.

We both anxiously watched him until he came back in. He must have noticed us eyeing him through the door. He turned to the other girl and simply said, "When you got to go, you got to go. I tried to hold it, but sometimes there's no choice."

Apparently he had been standing outside between the cars, so he could pee on the elevated tracks.

Now, this is so thoroughly disgusting because in Chicago, the tracks pass over sidewalks, roads, and parking lots. That means that this man was essentially peeing on the people who were walking around under our L.

And that, is just nasty.

Late Halloween

2010-11-09T13:30:00.003-06:00

This post is very belated but I wanted to post pictures of Steve and my Halloween costumes. We went as Jack Skellington and Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

I love the Nightmare Before Christmas for a number of reasons. It's Steve's favorite movie ever. We watch it when he's sad, we watch it when he's happy. We watch it a lot in October and on Halloween which is Steve's favorite holiday. We have the sound tract and listen to it at least three times in October. We have a sound track alternative which has famous people singing the sound track. The Marilyn Manson version of "This is Halloween" is great.

I also like ti because there is Christmas in it. I think it was a good costume despite the copious amount of face paint we had to wear.

Chicago Is Different

2010-10-16T21:23:00.002-05:00

A lot of people have been asking me how I like Chicago and all I can really tell them is that it's different. I lived in the same city, heck the same neighborhood, for all of my adult life. I had certain routines that became synonymous with being an adult and living miles from my family. Some big, some small. So when people ask me how is Chicago I have no real answer. Here are two observations that I have made about Chicago that has made it far superior to Boston.

The streets run on a grid for the most part go in cardinal directions. The first week we were here a friend was giving us directions that were simple, go south, then east. I'm not use to driving in the city being so easy. In Boston directions were more like, "You are going to go on a snaky road and curves a lot and starts out with one name, changes names with in the three miles you are going to be driving a number of times, and you might end up where you want to be." Garmin was a necessary for most people. Often times it was just true that you can't get there from here. I like the simplicity of urban travel here.

The second reason why Chicago is better is because all apartments seem to come with an abundance of closets. In Boston our old house had two closets in the whole 2 bedroom apartment. Not even big ones either. Our new Chicago apartment has a closet in every room. One of our closets even has a closet inside of it. If this was New York I could rent that sucker out as a studio apartment. It's great to have easy access to our stuff. Where's that sweater I haven't worn in a year, hanging up in the closet that's where. Not in a Tupperware container that is at the bottom of a stack of Tupperware containers.

So that's it. Chicago is different but not necessarily better. Boston does have better sea food.

Just Like In ER

2010-10-10T13:49:00.002-05:00

I was working last night and was tired. I had worked the previous two days and was looking foreword to being done and having some time off. My patients were starting to grate on me, Steve was making dinner, my shift was almost over, I was ready to be done. I was doing some last moment clean ups for the next shift when the secretary announced that there had been a major bus accident on Lake Shore Drive.

"44 ambulances responding to bus accident on Lake Shore" he said. I thought it sounded like an episode of ER and continued with what I was doing. "The hospital is on hold." He said. I asked what that meant and he explained that it meant that none of us could go home.

Wait, what?

Apparently when we expect mass casualties they hold all the day shift nurses and have the night shift nurses come in there so they can admit as many patients into ICUs as possible. It makes sense and I think I remember hearing something about that in orientation but never thought it would really happen. Even worse, I thought it wouldn't happen when I was almost done working a stretch and was sore, tired, and just wanted to go home. Yes, a bus filled with people would mean that there would be some people needing surgery and some just a stitch up in the ER but why can't I go home again?

I started to think about almost every season finale of ER and began thinking that maybe this sort of thing happened in Chicago all the time. People assured me it didn't but I still ended up staying about a half hour after my shift until they had sorted out all the casualties from the bus crash. Luckly, there weren't too many people hurt and I got to go home and go to bed.

And I'm Out

2010-10-01T11:09:00.002-05:00

I won't be able to post tomorrow so I am officially out of the Yo Lo Tango Blog Challenge. I was hoping to have my dad post for me tomorrow but he is having technical difficulties and can't. So maybe I will continue to post frequently, maybe not. Stay posted!

All Work and No Play

2010-09-30T23:23:00.002-05:00

I'm on vacation! Starting tonight at 8pm I will not work for an entire week. Not only do I not work but for the first time in many months my time off will not be spent look for a job, a house, or packing. Steve also has some time off so we plan on spending time with our families and relaxing!

Pumpkin Everything

2010-09-29T17:32:00.003-05:00

I love fall for the pure and simple fact that it means pumpkin flavored items start to pop up. Pumpkin flavored coffee, muffins, cream cheese, and breads are being sold and I want to eat them all! There is something very comforting about pumpkin that reminds me of home, which is odd because the only pumpkin flavored thing I ever ate as a kid was pumpkin seeds. At MGH the coffee stand on the first floor had amazing pumpkin spice coffee. I have been craving it since I moved to Chicago. The coffee at the hospital I currently work at has Starbucks and Au Bon Pan for coffee. Neither has a very good pumpkin coffee.

About the Enjoy the first pumpkin muffin of the year!

When I found out that Keurig has a pumpkin spice flavored coffee I was pumps to try it. Yesterday we made a special trip to Bed Bath and Beyond (which is where most keurig coffee lives) for pumpkin spice coffee. I made some for breakfast today and throughly enjoyed it with some homemade bread sprinkled with cinnamon and brown sugar.

All Used Up

2010-09-28T23:24:00.002-05:00

So I used my mulligan last night. I don't know what happened. I was exhausted after working three twelve hour days in a row and frustrated because I still feel a bit lost at my job and didn't really feel like I had a go to person to ask questions to. After dinner last night I fell asleep on the couch and moved into the bedroom around midnight. I woke up around five in the morning and realized I didn't post.

So there it is. My mulligan is all used up and the next missed post I'm out.

Bagel Sunday

2010-09-26T21:52:00.002-05:00

At Mass General one of the best things about working Sundays was bagels. Every Sunday the second PA working would buy the floor bagels and cream cheese. We could spend a few minutes of our Sunday morning in the break room, toasting and eating bagels, enjoying coffee, and catching up. Since today was the first Sunday that I worked at Northwestern I thought I would bring them Bagel Sunday. I got up early, ate a small breakfast, and made my way to the Dunkin Doughnuts by the L stop near my house.

The Dunkin Doughnuts was surprisingly busy for early Sunday morning. I started to think about my bagel selection when I noticed the utter lack of bagels. Not a single one. Not even a space for them among the doughnuts and muffins. I started to give up on the idea of Bagel Sunday and decided that muffins worked just as well. Since they only had 3 kinds of muffins it was a bit redundant.

The day was not a loss though since I enjoyed 2 pumpkin muffins and won some brownie points with my co-workers.

EEPPP!

2010-09-25T21:43:00.002-05:00

I am officially done with orientation at my hospital. I'm now a real ICU nurse. No more preceptor, no more having someone check my charting. It's just me. I would be lying if I said I am not nervous. I'm scared that I'll mess up, that I will do something wrong and end up hurting someone. Yes, there will always be someone around to help me if I need it. I can alway run things past my fellow nurses, but ultimately I'm the one who makes the choice. I'm nervous, but I think that maybe that is a good thing.

My Husband, the homeless one

2010-09-24T21:10:00.002-05:00

So for those of you who know Steve you might know that he isn't the cleanest person around. It's not like he is a dirty person. It's just that sometimes he goes for months without shaving and doesn't really shower most of the week. His cloths usually remain wrinkled in the laundry basket after he washes them. On occasion he has been mistaken for a homeless person. It would be sort of funny except I think Steve took it as a complement. He usually doesn't smell bad. He has his routine and keeps clean for the most part.

Since we moved to Chicago Steve has become a free lance AV guy. The advice he got from his former employer was to clean up a bit. Shave more often, wear clothing that hasn't been smushed at the bottom of your backpack for the last moth ect. So Steve has moved to shaving a least one a week, showering frequently and dressing nice in general. It's kind of weird.

Grilled

2010-09-23T22:32:00.002-05:00

B and D came over tonight for a cook out. There was a lot of food and a lot of fun. We have left overs in abundance and full jar of Mike Ditka's salsa. So full and happy right now!

Well, Crap.

2010-09-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

I was really looking forward to spending the next two days off with Steve. He's been gone and I have been working so we haven't spent a day together since Labor Day. I had visions of us grilling, exploring the neighborhood, going to the gym. Until tonight when I was watching the dishes and mentioned plans for Friday. Steve looked up from what he was doing and informed me that he works Friday. Which is really too bad because I have to work for hour hours tomorrow.

I guess it will be another month until our schedules match up again. Crap.

Dad

2010-09-21T21:27:00.003-05:00

My dad agreed to do a guest post for me while I'm on vacation next weekend. Here is a sampling of a journal while he was working at the Minnesota State Fair this summer. Enjoy and think about what's to come!

Day 3:
"* A chauffer arrives in a handicapped SUV limousine to pick up an elderly man in a wheelchair. He waits and waits and waits. I keep asking him how soon his client will be there because the loop is for quick pick-up and drop-off. He offers me $20 to let him stay. I refuse but let him stay anyway. He’s there for almost and hour. Later I wonder why I didn’t accept the bribe. I’d make a lousy 3rd world policeman."

Day 4
* "Today I arrived early walked around in the fair for a bit. I didn’t have my traffic vest on but I was wearing a shirt identifying me as fair staff (and saying I love my job – untrue). "

Day 6
* "I’ve spent time looking at footwear. Sandals seem to be most popular. Lots of people wear flip-flops. How can you walk around the fair all day in flip-flops? People in tennis shoes either wear no socks or the low-cut ankle socks. That’s why Maria gave me several pair for Christmas a few years ago, so I’d be in style. Problem is they don’t “feel right” to me when I wear them. I’ve noticed older guys often wear full length socks like I do. I’m in old-guy style."

"So now I can add directing traffic (traffic control engineer?) to my list of job experiences. When they asked me if I wanted to come back next year I told them I’d have to answer that like Brett Favre."

Good Eats Here

2010-09-20T21:23:00.002-05:00

I finished reading Cutting For Stone today. The book was amazing, highly recommend it. In part of the story the main character, who grew up in Ethiopia, is in the U.S. and is taken out for Ethiopian food. He laments to the owner of the restaurant that he is at that the food isn't spice enough. They tell him if he wants real Ethiopian food he needs to go the a restaurant in Roxberry named "Queen of Sheba".

The character eventually makes his way to Boston and goes to eat at the Queen of Sheba (note, not sure if this is a real restaurant, I doubt it is though). He says he immediately knew it was going to be good authentic Ethiopia food because the restaurant was surrounded by empty taxi cabs. The drivers were inside enjoying the"real" Ethiopian food.

Tonight Steve and I pulled up into a gas station next to an East African. The parking lot outside of the eating establishment was two or three rows deep of taxi cabs. It made me think of that part of the book and how if we ever wanted real authentic East African food we could just walk down the road.

I Almost Forgot!

2010-09-19T22:33:00.002-05:00

I almost forgot to post today. I didn't really do anything. I had a leisurely day that consisted of baking, going to the gym, and reading. At one point i thought, "Wouldn't it be weird if I used my mulligan for today when nothing is going on?"

Expert No More

2010-09-18T18:48:00.003-05:00

Lots of people are asking me how the new job is going. I tell them fine because I don't really want to get into how frustrated I am with the new job. I use to work on the floor, which in non-hospital terms means where most people are up, walking around, getting stronger after surgery and getting ready to go home. Out patients rarely had invasive devices or monitoring systems that we had to use. Most of the time if the patient felt ok he or she was ok. The focus was on healing after surgery. In my eyes, for the most part, these were people who were becoming healthy.

Now I work in the ICU. The patients are fresh from the OR. They are drugged so they can't tell me if they feel ok. I have to go instead by what the numbers of the monitoring systems that we have implanted for the surgery is telling me. All of the sudden there are all these numbers and meaning that never mattered to me before. PAOP, CVP, CI, the list goes on. Maybe at one time in school I knew what these meant but that was a long time ago. This is a whole different kind of nursing where your interpretation of data is mostly numbers. Is the patient dry and need more volume in their circulatory system? Are they wet and need medication to help them pee more fluid out? Is the oxygen that is being carried by the blood being absorbed by the tissue well? These are all things that take consent monitoring. Knowing when to send certain tests and then interpreting them and coming up with a plan of care from that is the new way of taking care of people.

I'm slowly getting the flow of when we need to thing and why. It's just been very frustrating to have to start new and confused when I knew my last job so well. I use to be the person who people would come to if they had questions. Now I'm the one standing in the hallway with the lost look on her face. I have come to realize I will not feel comfortable at this new job for a long time. Everything I need to know will most likely not be taught to me on orientation. I'm hoping that I will learn enough that in two weeks from now when I'm off orientation I won't feel completely lost.

Pulling a Fievel

2010-09-17T17:11:00.002-05:00

Good news! Steve comes home today after being away for a week! Bad news is his plane will be landing about a half hour before my shift starts so we don't get to see each other until tomorrow when I wake up. I'm not a big fan of this timing but it's better to be in the same state then to have him gone for one more day.

LXD

2010-09-16T17:36:00.002-05:00

Quick post tonight because I have to go to work. This summer hulu had a webseries named LXD. It is more or less a hip-hop ballet with some amazing dancers. Hope you enjoy it!

http://www.hulu.com/the-lxd?c=Action-and-Adventure

No More Sleeping Tight.

2010-09-15T19:47:00.003-05:00

Steve came home from his business trip on Labor day weekend exhausted. It was a long weekend and we didn't have anything to do except spend time with each other and relax. We had a great Saturday together relaxing in our backyard and catching up. Sunday we took a nice long walk along the lake. When we got home Steve started to itch his back. He didn't stop. He asked me look at his back to see if their were any bug bites. He took off his shirt and his entire back was covered in bites. It didn't stop at his back either. His upper arm, legs, and area between his fingers had broken out into large welts that itched like crazy. The bites were too small to be mosquito bites and had no real pattern to them to indicate a rash.

After a quick google search we came up with the diagnosis of bed bugs. Steve had stayed in a hotel with bed bugs. We quickly quarantined his belongings. We read with horror at the possible infestation that was taking hold of our house. Most pesticides won't kill bed bugs. If you live in a multi-family house or apartment building and you bomb your house they will just go to another part of the house then return. They can live anywhere: in the frame of your bed, in the crack in the floor, in an electrical socket. Once they are in your house they are there. The only way to get rid of them is to kill them with heat. Our minds were racing with the awkward possibility of informing our new landlord that we had contaminated the four family house we had lived in for less then a month with bed bugs and that we would have to all leave the house for a few days to have the problem taken care of.

The next day Steve went to the doctor who confirmed the bedbug diagnosis and reviewed how to prevent the transmission of bedbugs, not too helpful. We decided to wait to have the conversation with our landlord until we were sure we had infested our house. If we had bedbugs, surely I would breakout with bites in the next few day. We waited. Every skin irritation I had I thought of the worse. Every bump or itch was the first signs in my mind. Two days had passed and no bumps ever came. Then a week passed and still no bits or marks.

We are still a bit worried. Steve's suitcase is still sitting in a large plastic bag in our guest room and I remain slightly paranoid about any itch I have. I think I can almost say now that we dodged a big bullet with this one and thanks God.

Dana Time!

2010-09-14T13:39:00.004-05:00

As per my usual post-night shift day I was only able to sleep until 1pm. Didn't matter too much because I was planning on getting up around 2pm because I have a girl-date with Dana!

Dana (pictured right holding my crap on my wedding day) and I met our sophomore year of college. I think we were a psych or philosophy class, I don't really remember. I do remember calling her DEEna for a year and she let me because she thought that was the way I said her name. It took multiple other people to tell me that her name was Dana and me asked her how people said her name before I changed. Even when I asked her she said "Most people call me Dana" which is really nice of her to say because all people call her Dana because that is her name. I was just the weird one.

Dana and I have stayed friends for the last five years, visiting each other, talking on the phone. I think this will be the first time in five years that just the two of us are hanging out. I am totally pumped!

Night Watch

2010-09-13T14:41:00.002-05:00

One of the many down sides to starting a new job is you are at the bottom of the totem pole Whatever seniority you have gained where you use to work is flushed down the toilet and you start new. When you are a nurse part of that means working nights again. I haven't worked a night shift since 2007 and am scheduled to work nights all week. Needless to say, I'm a bit nervous.

I'm not what you would call a night person. Like most people I have pulled the occasional up until 4 am talking and drinking to people in the last 3 years but that is a whole different beast. Staying up all night to work is hard. All I can really remember about working night shift as a nurse is that the hours of 2-4 seem like they might never pass, patients are more likely to code, and you feel crappy the entire night. I remember feeling sick, dizzy, and nauseous most of the time.

I know there are good sides to working nights too. Pay is better, patients are asleep, and you don't have to worry about patients' family members (usually). To me though, the good doesn't out weigh the bad.

I've been trying to stay up late and sleep in. Today I slept until noon and Jehovah Witnesses rang my door bell and woke me up. It's almost 3pm now and I'm going to try to nap and maybe run before I head in. Wish me luck!

Hair!

2010-09-12T21:18:00.003-05:00

I had always wanted to try having short hair. As a child I sported the normal small-child-in-the-80's bowel cut that most people did. I never had hair shorter then an inch since I was a baby. There never seemed a good time to do it. There were always excuses not to. Until last November. Stereotypically women will grow their hair out for their wedding and then cut it shorter after. I thought I would go to the extreme of this stereotype and pixie cut my hair. Why not? If not now then never was my mantra as I made my way to the salon that day.

I was nervous but I didn't want to be like one of the girls on America's Next Top Model who cried at the hair cut make over. I put on my brave face, had the stylist put my hair into a pony-tail and then cut it all off. He cut and cut and cut and I stared straight ahead thinking about how awesome it would be to have hair that would dry in under an hour. I kept trying to talk myself into why short hair would be good and when he was done I lied and said I liked it.

I put pictures of myself on facebook with short hair and thought that I would learn to like it. I smiled when people would tell me they liked the new cut. I hated it. I hated how it made me look. I hated how my head looked naked. I hated the fact that I didn't get to put my hair up. After a few months of growth I still didn't like. I felt like I always had the same look weather I was at work or out with friends. Yes, their were hair clips that I could put in to look nice and there was the added connivence of not having to dig the pile of hair out of the drain after every shower but I still missed my long golden curls that made me feel like me.

My hair has grown out almost a year now and is almost to my jaw line. I miss my long hair and can't wait for it back. I know lots of other people love having short hair, but it's just not me.

Samples!

2010-09-11T20:46:00.002-05:00

Everyone loves free samples at the grocery store. Without paying for a large container you can sample the chips you wondered if were crisp, or the cheese that looked waxy but you think it might just be awesome. I remember when I was a kid Sunday was sample day at Byeler's (the fancy grocery store by my house). This was before Whole Foods had opened and you could get samples every day. As you strolled though the store you would enjoy crackers, cheese, ham, pizza, and fresh cut melon. It was great.

Today I stopped at the grocery store after I working out to pick up somethings for dinner. I was browsing the cheese isle when a man asked me if I wanted a sample. I assumed since we were in the cheese area it would be cheese but instead it was beer. I was handled a beer sample and was told it went well with cheese. There were some small chunks of cheese cut up for sampling as well. I enjoyed both but wanted to inform him that most people know beer and cheese go together well.

All in all I would say it was a good sample day.

Something Something Post

2010-09-10T23:16:00.002-05:00

It's late and I'm buzzed and tired. I've worked the last 3 days and went out to eat tonight. The sangria was amazing, the food delicious and that is what brings us here. To a semi-drunk-just-in-the-nick-of-time-post.

Cutting For Stone

2010-09-09T22:48:00.002-05:00

Short post today as I worked yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I have been reading the book Cutting For Stone by Abraham Verghese and so far have really enjoyed it. The characters for the most part feel real, great descriptions, and plot. Without giving too much of the plot away it's about some doctors in Africa. Here are a few favorite quotes so far:

"And Because I love this Life
I know I shall love death as well.
The child cries out when
From the right breast of the mother
Takes it away, in the very next moment
To find the left on
Its consolation"

"On one occasion with a patient in grave peril, I begged my father to operate...I knew the chance (of survival) was was infinitesimally small and the first whiff of anesthesia might end it all...'Remember the Eleventh Commandment,: he said. :Thou shall not operate on the day of a patient's death.'"

And finally:

"Flatus, Fluid, Feces, Foreign Body, and Fetus feel better out that in"-The Five-F rule.

New Skill

2010-09-08T22:11:00.003-05:00

Most people have no idea what a nurse does. I remember Steve asking me on one of our first dates if I just poked people with needles all day long. I informed him that I never poke people with needles. I had other people who did that so I didn't have to.Truth be told, I've only drawn blood on a few occasions and have never started an IV. Until today.

I had pulled all my patients lines to get him ready to transfer out of the ICU when he started to have EKG changes. I turned to my preceptor and went over the list of things we should do.

"Page the NP, order an EKG, cycle blood pressures, and draw labs."

"Right," she replied and handed me the needle and blood tubing.

After short inspection of his arm I knew right where to go and got the blood on my first draw. When the NP wanted to order and IV medication and we had no access because he already had an antibiotic running my preceptor turned to me again and handed me the needle to put an IV. Unfortunately for my patient the IV took me 2 tries before I got it in.

I am really excited to continue to cultivate this skill at my new job!

Conversations With My Husband

2010-09-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

Steve and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie last night when I heard him cough a little and then say "phew". I turned to look at him and noticed he was holding his wedding ring in his palm. He noticed me checking him out and said: "You would be mad if I swallowed my wedding ring right?"

"Yes I would be mad if you swallowed it but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't make it past your epiglottis and I would have to heimlich that out of you." I told him.

"Maybe not," he pondered looking at the ring, "but you would definitely make me sift through poop for it."

"Yes I would. Because I'm sure as hell not going to."

"Then I should stop playing with this right now." He said as he slipped the ring back on and we continued to watch the movie.

Head On Into The Kitchen

2010-09-06T16:10:00.002-05:00

Let me start this post with saying my mom is an amazing cook. It's not that she makes super fancy meals all time but what she does do is make cooking look easy. Growing up we almost always ate home cooked meals. It was rare if ever we got take out or went to a restaurant so that left about 95% of our meals made from scratch at home. Not only did my mom make most of our meals (which seems pretty rare now) she would often cater to every single persons desire for food. It was very common that we would have multiple dishes for dinner. Steak for my dad, spaghetti for my sister and pancakes for me. She also would have all these things ready at the same time so we could have dinner as a family. This basis of "food should be made, at home and fresh, and it's no big deal" mentality has carried on to my adulthood.

I love cooking. There is something so soothing about following a recipe and making a wonderful meal. No matter what is going on in my life I know I can open a cook book, lose myself in the actions with chopping, saute-ing, and steaming food. It becomes almost therapeutic. Just focus on chopping this onion so you don't chop your finger off makes you live in the moment. Putting together multiple small pieces to make an amazing whole is so gratifying. It also makes me feel good to provide for my husband (mostly) health meals. Making your own food and not relying on a restaurant just seems normal to me.

I know parents hope to instill "important" values to their children like honor, trust, kindness, good work ethic, ect. I feel my parents gave me all of that and also an awesome hobby.

You and I

2010-09-05T18:50:00.004-05:00

Recently I have really been digging this song. I don't know if because I like the ukulele or because this sounds like something we would sing at my Unitarian Church but enjoy!

Waiting for My Husband

2010-09-04T13:10:00.003-05:00

Of the four weeks that Steve and I have lived in Chicago he has been gone for almost two of them. When we moved to Chicago Steve stayed full time with the company that he worked for in Boston until the end of August on the agreement he would work a show for them a the end of the month in Iowa. It worked out well since we needed money to move and health care benefits until mine kicked in.

Steve has been in Iowa for the past two weeks, I've been working more days then I ever have in my life until today. I'm off for the entire holiday weekend and Steve comes home today! I can't wait to spend the entire weekend with him.

Working 9-5

2010-09-03T21:37:00.002-05:00

Ok, I haven't been working 9-5. that's just a catchy Dolly Parton song. What I have been doing though is working 5 days a week for the past 3 weeks. Most people would be shocked to know that I have never worked 5 days a week in my life. One of the percs of being a nurse is that you can work full time and only work 3 days a week, and that is what I have been doing for the last 5 years of my life. Until I moved to Chicago.

Apparently Northwestern has recently done a study that found that when nurses work more then 8 hours a day while on orientation they go into information over load and don't absorb anything after 8 hours. While this might be true for a new nurse who has never done anything for twelve hours, except maybe drink, I'm sure it can be tough. I'm not a new nurse now and don't function well working anything less than 12 hours. Sadly it is hospital policy and there are no exceptions to the rule, so I have been stuck working 8 hours a day 5 days a week. To most this might not sound so bad, but I hate it.

The way a day is for a nurse is you usually are so busy in the morning that you don't even sit down from the time you walk into your patients room until 1pm if you are lucky. After that you need to catch up on all the charting you didn't do in the morning because you were busy taking care of your patient. Somewhere in there you factor in lunch and that is about when you have to leave if you are only working eight hours. I end up feeling rushed all day and not getting the full experience of a nursing shift. Not to mention that my house has fallen into disrepair, I haven't gone to the gym except for twice this week (!), and I have had to lock Moose inside everyday while I am at work.

Lucky for me the policy only extends for the first 3 weeks and today was my last eight hour day. I cannot wait to hit the mid day lull at the gym or buy my groceries at the store when no one else is there!

Farmers Market

2010-09-02T20:43:00.002-05:00

I simply love Farmers Markets. Pinching peaches, smelling apples, and "sampling" home made cheese is my idea of a good time. When I lived in Boston Adrianne and I had a standing date to meet each Wednesday at the farmers market in Davis square. We would walk through the parking lot filled with fresh greens and talk over the various dishes we were planning to make.

Now that I live in Chicago and a lot closer to more farm land the selection has grown. Farm fresh peaches, wild blue berries, crisp apples are a must. I love being able to talk to the person who picked the peach that I am going to eat tonight. Steve had a long conversation with one of the meat sellers about the hog that had just given birth to piglets. We have a direct link with the people who grew our food. I think that is how it should be. Every time we eat we should think about the person who grew our food and how long it took to get from where they are to where we are. With a "eat local" philosophy we can have a "thanksgiving" every day for the amazing food that we know the point of origin of.

Let's Get This Party Started!

2010-09-01T20:16:00.002-05:00

Oh Yeah! First day of blog contest! I like it. From now on I challenge myself to post EVERY DAY! I'm going to start it out with this lame post to commemorate Day One.

Cheetah Gym

2010-08-31T19:13:00.002-05:00

With the new move came multiple other new things. New commute to work, new parking laws, and also the need for a new gym. Working out is a must for me and a gym is another must if I'm going to keep lifting heavies for the next twenty years. Steve and I were members of Bally's back in Massachusetts because it was really convenient and cheap. Now it was not convenient and when you would have to factor in either an L ride or driving to the gym it was not so cheap. So we looked around our house. Our choices were a sketchy gym, a gym that turned out not to be a gym but a physical therapy facility, and Cheetah gym.

When we walked into Cheetah gym we were greeted by a short stout flaming gay man. Welcome to Cheetah gym!" he exclaimed from behind the counter. We asked if we could have a tour. He told us we could but we would have to wait a moment while he got someone to watch the desk.

A few minutes later he pep-ed up to us with a clip board and told us we ready to start the tour. To start with I should say that Cheetah gym is a lot nicer then any Bally's I've ever been to. For the most part there are hard wood floor except in the weight lifting area. Large gold framed mirrors suspended from the celling separated each room giving the building a big of a dizzying feel. You never are quite sure if you are looking into another room or at the one you are in.

Our first stop on the tour was the locker rooms. "These are just your normal locker room" he assured us. They were. Next he showed us the "stretching area" which consisted of a lot of mats and some odd platform multiple springs pointing out of it in every direction with pictographs of various yoga poses on it.

"Oh my gawd!" I gawked at the machine in front of me. "Is this the machine from the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie? What dose it do?" I asked.

Our tour guide started at me blackly and said he had no idea what the machine did, maybe it was from the movie, but he did know that it was loud when people used it.

Our tour continued with an in-depth description of the person TV's and free towel service but when asked on the use of any the machines we would get a "i don't know" answer.

Despite what was possibly the best tour of a gym ever given (insert sarcasm here.) We ended up joining Cheetah gym.

Meet the Neighbors

2010-08-30T09:14:00.002-05:00

This is going to be another cat post. I'm putting the disclaimer up so if you are tired of hearing cat stories then don't read anymore.

For most of Moose's life he has enjoyed the luxury of a cat door. A small door that sits in one of our windows so that Moose can dictate when he comes in and goes out. The cat door was great! Except for our last year in Somerville when various unwanted guests used the cat door make their way into our house and help themselves to Moose's food. Other cats, a raccoon, and a possum to exact. When we moved to Chicago we were resolved not to put the cat door in such an easy access location for all these creatures that want in. Steve and I had a great debate over it and in the end we still had no answer and Steve (the installer of cat doors) left for two weeks for work. So moose and I have made due without the cat door.

Saturday morning I got up and let Moose out so he could enjoy so morning sunshine. I was in the kitchen when I heard an odd sounding meow. I went to check on Moose and found the his meow had sounded so odd because he had a mouse in his mouth. As I opened the door to try to prevent the ingestion of the mouse Moose started to play with it. Batting it around, throwing it up into the air and pouncing on it. I realized I didn't have anything to remove said mouse so I just stood their watching Moose enjoy a snack. I looked over and noticed our neighbor, who must have been out for a morning cigaret, was using his phone to record Moose playing with/eating the mouse. I stared at him for a few moments before he looked up at me and asked me if I minded if he taped Moose. I said I guess not and went back inside to try to find a shovel to dispose of what would remain of the mouse. When I came back Moose was gone, the neighbor was gone, but a mouse head remained. I buried it in the front yard and went in and searched youtube for video of Moose eating a mouse.

Sleep

2010-08-29T09:29:00.003-05:00

Ok, no post yesterday but I did work on my template so I count that as blog related work. Also, I know this is post has the same name as B's last post but B and I both suffer from absent-husband-insomnia. At least I use to. Since moving to Chicago I have not had any problem falling asleep. At first I thought it was related to the fact that I have been drinking a bit more since alcohol can be purchased in the grocery store but the last few nights I haven't had anything to drink and have fallen asleep with in five minutes of laying down. Steve's been gone almost an entire week and I still am able to fall asleep quite easily. Why the sudden change?

I think it has to do with the layout of our new house. Our house in Boston had the front door located in our bedroom. It sounds strange but we got use to it. We also had bay windows in our bedroom that were on the front deck. If the windows were open you were hear every person enter or exit the house. I would often have a dream while Steve was gone of a tall ghostly figure trying to break in the room. In the dream I would hear the outside door open and the lock to our house being picked. The door in our bedroom would slowly open and I would see this large dark figure standing over me. I wake up with a scream chocked in my throat and Moose staring at me wondering why I was making weird noises.

That is not the case in this house. Our bedroom is tucked in the back of the house and I blissfully sleep the whole night through.

Crazy Cat Lady

2010-08-27T17:43:00.002-05:00

This weekend I will be cat sitting for my friend H while she and her sister are out of town. I went to their house last night to get the keys and also to learn the responsibilities of cat sitting their two cats. Half way through the intense training I was being given I realized how everyone has different quirks for their cats.

For example, Moose is a pretty independent cat. Some of the people who cat sit him never even see him so that is why when Steve and I went on our honeymoon we had a friend actually stay at our house over night a few nights to make sure that he was ok. When we were moving to Chicago one of the maine qualifications for us was that it was easy for Moose get in and out of the house. To the first realtor we talked to this seemed like a large request.

"Hmmm, you want grass and a way outside for you cat!" he exclaimed after we had turned down multiple nice apartments because they were located on the top floor of an apartment building on a busy street. He followed up with "Look, I know you think your cat is your baby, but he's not. He's just a cat. He will adapt." We had become crazy cat people to him. No amount of clarification on our search criteria would clear that from his mind.

The next realtor we went to we were a bit more cautious with the cat expectation.

"It would be nice if we could have easy access to the outside, for both us and the cat" we eased in.

"Oh, I totally understand. When I got my condo one of the maine selling points for me was the large windows for my cat."

We were immediately at ease with this man because he was a cat crazy person like us. Which is why we ended up renting a house from his agency and not the first's.

Why I stopped Blogging Part I

2010-08-26T17:44:00.004-05:00

Oh my, no post for almost half a year. What a sad looking blog. Anyone who use to look at this blog most likely stopped a long time ago. I don't blame them. I stopped blogging for a number of reasons. I felt the only people who read this were my mom or my husband's ex-girlfriend (who admitted to cyber-stalking me but now I cyber-stalk her, the world is odd). So I stopped writing. But recently,Adrianne posted about the Yo Lo Tango Summer Blog Contest and I decided to take up the challenge.

Since I posted last lots of things in my life have changed while some have stayed the same. I miss writing. I want to start sharing myself again with the people who feel like reading. So think of this as a warm up post to the September 1st official start of the blog contest.

Smile

2010-01-14T21:53:00.001-06:00

Whenever I'm sad recently I just have to say "Bam Bam Noodle Butt" and I will start to laugh until I cry.

Sister Blog

2009-09-07T18:17:00.002-05:00

So my sister now has a blog. She would love to keep in touch and let every one know what a magical place Ann Arbor is. Enjoy and read a lot.

Lessons from Italy

2009-08-20T10:23:00.002-05:00

1.Always order the house wine, it's good, it's sort of cheap and it was made in Italy.

2. It is really a bad idea to pave your streets with black cobblestones as this will only make a heat wave your city is experiencing worse.

3. Italian women wear heeled shoes everywhere. Working as a police officer? Go ahead and wear your sling backs. Going to explore the ruins of an ancient city? Your wedge peap-toes are perfect.

4. If they want traffic laws to be obeyed then there will actually be a police officer in the middle of the street. Otherwise it's Vespas on all sides.

5. Only go to glato places were presentation is part of the experience.

6. There is a lot of really old stuff there.

7. You can go to an Irish pub in Italy and have a bar tender from New Zealand pour you a German beer.

8. If you have an amazing chapel pained by a famous artist needs restoring a Japanese television channel might foot the 12 million dollar bill as long as they get exclusive rights to every image of it.

9. Do not sit next to lonely old women who bring their own water bottle of wine on a 2 hour train ride. They will talk to you constantly and since her English is limited it will always be the same conversation.

10. Enjoy every moment of it.

Ma-wage

2009-08-01T08:36:00.000-05:00

I'm getting married today! I'm so happy to be marring Steve and to be surrounded by our family and friends today. The people who are not here will be in our hearts and I can't wait to be Mrs. Lewis!

Got Vitamin D?

2009-07-25T21:06:00.003-05:00

A few months ago while having a wedding dress fitting the question was posed to me "Are you going to be tan for the wedding?"To be honest I hadn't really thought about it but the woman who sat at my feet pinning the hem suggested that I take a few tanning sections at a tanning salon to avoid any unsightly tan lines.

It was in the manner that I found myself at the tanning salon a few blocks from my house. I should start off by saying that I hate tanning. A day out in the sun is one thing but sitting under a large florescent light dose not sound like my idea of fun. I expected a slightly grungy room smelling of coconut oil and dead skin and instead found myself inside an episode of MTV's cribs gone wrong. The bright blue carpet was accented by the black leather couch and chairs with a gas burning fireplace in the corner. Above it sat a large TV that constantly ran information about why tanning is good for you.

"No time to exercise? Apply Make-up? Take vitamins?" it asked. "Start tanning and get all the vitamin D your body needs!" Cut to a clip of two women dressed in lab coats saying "We tell our patients, get some sun!" Then to a Harvard doctor saying that "Americans have come to have an unhealthy fear of the sun." Voice over quips in "In the past couple of years Americans have been bullied by the cosmetic companies to cover up and we are paying for it with our health. Vitamin D is an essential vitamin that you get directly from the sun. If you can't devote thirty minutes a day to being the sun you should be tanning."

With all these arguments as to why I need tanning I bought three tanning sessions to make me feel and look better (or at least that's what the advertisement is telling me). In reality what I bought myself was my first panic attack from the tanning followed by a slightly burned stomach. I would have to say I'm not sure it is worth it to have a tan for one day.

Why My Sister Rocks

2009-07-22T18:30:00.003-05:00

Today is my sister's birthday. In the past I have posted crazy pictures of her here but I think I will try to do something different this year. Here is a list of my my sister rocks:

1.She still drives around an old beat up van that barely functions and has decorated it with multiple bumper stickers that would get her into a lot of trouble if she drove in the south.

2. She really likes board games.

3. She use to be a vegetarian but quit and now my dad doesn't bother me so much about being a vegetarian.

4.She flew all the way to Boston for my bachelorette party and held my hair when I got sick.

5. After she held my hair she spent the night in my bathroom getting sick.

6. She can totally social work you if you don't watch out.

7. She once stepped in poop with flip-flops on and didn't amputate her foot.

8. She got engaged less than a month before my wedding and offered to not tell anyone about it (Not necessary, when your engaged everyone should know!)

9. She knows all the words to a sesame street Christmas and a Muppet family Christmas.

10. All the other great things about her.

Happy Birthday Sissy!

Work Place Morale

2009-07-18T14:25:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago it occurred to me that very soon I would be traipsing around Italy and would need some sturdy shoes to do so in. My only shoes that were summer appropriate were flip-flops from Old Navy that had already seen better days. I resolved to buy some comfortable yet fashionable summer shoes to wear as I wonder the streets of Roam.

I went to a local sporting good store and bought one set of black Tevas and another shoe that offered a bit more foot protection. The problem was they didn’t have my size in the Tevas. The store clerk (who was really rude to me) helped me order the appropriate size over the phone with a guarantee that I would have my new shoes in 24 hours!

I waited with anticipation to get my “Italy” sandals and start to break them in. Business hours came and went and I still had no shoes, I was resolved to call the company and demand that I get a discount for my shoes when my phone rang.

“Um, hi Ms. Hansen, this is Janet from Mountain Sports…I’m calling about your shoes?”
I was ready to put my mean face on and try to get a discount.
“What about my shoes?” I asked
“Well..um, I just wanted to let you know they weren’t going to be coming today.”
I waited a moment and trying to channel Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, I asked, “And why is that?”
There was a long pause answered by “Because I’m stupid and incompetent at my job.”
Woooa! I don’t think my acting skills are that great as to convince someone over the phone that they are bad at their job. I felt really bad for my previous statement and quickly back peddled. No one should ever feel like they are stupid and incompetent because of a pair of shoes.
“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true…”
“Where do you live, near Davis square? I ride my bike home that way; I could drop them off at your house if you want?” She was grasping for straws, I felt like her desperation to please her boss was palpable over the phone.
The fact that I had been slightly rude to this humbled employee made me feel awful at the though of her having to bike out of her way to my house. I assured her I could wait another twenty-four hours and wished her a good day. Or at least a better one then she seemed to be having.

Thinking in Blog

2009-07-17T20:03:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure when it happened. Maybe it was when I joined facebook or maybe it was before that. I stopped thinking in blog posts. Thinking in blog posts was something I would do all the time. Something would happen, a strange encounter on the T or a sudden rush of emotion, and I would start to narrate it so that I could easily translate it to internet screen and make it a blog post. Posting was something that seemed simple. With all the crazy things I encounter why would I not want to share them with the five people who read this? It was my duty to inform you that I saw a squirrel eating a snickers bar because if I didn't how would you ever know that it happened? Sometimes I felt like there was so many things to share I couldn't post enough!

Then one day I sat down to post and I had nothing. I ran down the events of the day and I couldn't think of anything memorable. Then it happened again and again. Looking back I haven't had more then a handful of posts in the last three months.

Then today for no particular reason blog-thought clicked back on. I was walking home from the dentist pissed off about the fact that I still have an unresolved root canal that was possibly infected. My shoes that I bought specialty to walk around in in Italy were giving me a blister and to turn my foot red when I realized I was blog-thinking. So maybe this means there will be a few more posts on this site. No promises but check back regularly.

City Rant

2009-07-15T15:46:00.002-05:00

Summer in the city means long walks along the esplanade, ice cream in Davis square, and most of all being outside. The problem with being outside in a large city is that people are constantly asking you for things. I can handle the occasional homeless person asking for a few extra cents but what I really hate is the young people asking me if I have a minute . "Have a minute to: help the environment, end world hunger, stop discrimination, find world peace?" I know that these young people probably couldn't find any other job this summer and now they have a thankless job where they sit outside all day and harass people as they walk by. I'm sure they don't like it but I like it even less. I don't think any of these problems will be solved by me stopping for a "minute".

Sometimes all I want to do is walk home lost in my thoughts and instead I have to constantly justify my reasons for not stopping. At times it makes me want to drive.

Ohio Tan

2009-07-01T20:49:00.002-05:00

So as I have said in my previous post, it's rained a lot in Boston. So much so that upon my return from Ohio many people at work commented on how tan I looked. They asked if I had started tanning in a tanning booth. I let them know that my slightly darker color was simply from exiting the state of Massachusetts.

While I was in Ohio I did not try to get a tan. It was simply a color that came from running outside and playing with the kiddos in the beautiful outdoors.

Rain Rain Go Away!

2009-06-23T18:41:00.002-05:00

I literally cannot remember the last time I saw the sun. I feel like it's been raining in Boston since May. I'm tired of my towels never drying completely between showers and of my hair being a frizzy afro that has to live in a pony tail. Our cat his consistently damp and therefore so is our couch, bed, and any other surface Moose feels entitled to. I've heard of people having seasonal affect disorder in the winter but I'm having it the summer too!

This is a plea to the weather gods, please send some rays my way!

How?

2009-06-09T10:44:00.003-05:00

Awful things happen. They can happen to anyone anywhere. It's hard to understand why these things happen. When faced with awful event I don't ever think there is a right way to react. You can cry uncontrollably, you can punch things, you can vomit, or you can just stare off into space and try to wrap your mind why something so horrible could happen.

I wish we could answer why these things happen, but I don't think we would ever be satisfied with that answer. We just need to remember to hold our loved ones tight and make sure they know we love them.

Almost Here!

2009-06-01T17:58:00.001-05:00

It is exactly two more months until my wedding! I'm not one of those brides who obsesses with the count down counter on "the knot" but I can't believe that it is almost here. When Steve and I started to plan our wedding we picked a date that was almost 13 months away and now it's right around the corner. Between all wedding showers, work and other assorted parties that we have I know this time is going to fly by and I can't be more excited about it.

Keep It Fresh and Local

2009-05-20T11:39:00.003-05:00

For the past month or so I've been reading Barbra Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and have been inspired by it. In the book Kingsolver and her family resolve to try to eat only local foods that they, or people they know, have grown. This includes all fruit and meat. It's a bit commitment, one that I'm not willing to undertake but I can see the reasoning in why she did it.

I consider myself a pretty eco-friendly chick. I buy organic foods because I believe in sustainable farming and avoiding the use of pesticides is important to my health and the health of everyone else. Kinggsolvers book has opened my eyes a bit to trying to be a bit more conscientious of where my organic foods are coming from. Last week I opened a container of organic salad mix that I had bought earlier that day to make dinner. Some of the lettuce had already started to wilt and begun to transform into a yucky green slime. I flipped over the container to read the label and it turned out my greens had come all the way from Minnesota. I know I don't feel so fresh after the trek from Minnesota to Massachusetts so why should my leafy greens?

I've started to try to figure out where a lot of the food I eat came from, and let me tell you it's hard. At most you can find where something is being distributed from but where the actual tomato or cheese originated is a bit of mystery on most labels. I am so ready for the farmers market to start.

I'm not quiet ready to kick off my shoes and run around bare-foot like a crazy hippy but I am going to start to try to eat local dairy products and breads. Nobody can argue how much better fresh picked produce is, so for now I'm ready to be a bit more mindful of how far my greens had to travel for a wonderful salads.

One Ring

2009-05-19T10:17:00.002-05:00

As our wedding planning winds down we find ourselves taking care of the smaller details of the wedding. Like our rings. We both picked up our rings this weekend and since Steve has never worn any jewelry in his life, much less a ring on his hands, we thought he should wear it around the house for a few days to see how it feels.

As soon as he put the ring on his hand he looked up at me and said, "you know this is going to be very hard for me not to lose this in the forever that I'm going to be wearing it". I told him that I already knew that. Steve has gone though more dress shirts, phones, hats, and jackets then anyone I've ever know because he takes them off and then forgets them somewhere. In the few hours he wore the ring around the house I saw him play with it in his hands, drop it on the floor, and roll under the couch. He retrieved it,put it back on and was able to keep in on for the rest of the night. As we were getting into bed and turning the lights off I asked him if he was going to wear the ring to bed, he answered "Um, I'm not wearing it now." When I asked him where his ring was he told me in the pocket of the pants he was wearing when he got ready for bed that were now in a crumpled mess on the floor.

I made him get up, find the ring in the pockets and return back to the box for safe keeping. "It's fine in my pants pocket until tomorrow" he grumbled as he burrowed though the multiple pockets on his pants. I pointed out that it probability would be safe until tomorrow morning, until he went looking for his car keys and would turn his pant upside down trying to find them.

The moral of this story is, you should be surprised if you come to our wedding and Steve still has the same ring he's wearing now.

Flours

2009-05-14T11:25:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite parts of the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" is when Will Ferrell comes running up to Maggie Gyllenhaal as she is about to close her bakery and professes his love for her. He holds out a box filled with little brown bags and says he brought her a present. She eyes them over and asks what they are, and he meekly answers "flours". It's a beautiful moment and a turning point in the movie and a gift that I am totally envious of.

Without really being conscious of the slowly growing number of bags in my pantry I now have 5 different flours sitting in my small kitchen waiting to be used. I realized my flour wealth last night while I was making bread and had assumed that I would need bread flour but upon closer inspection found that I just needed regular flour and whole wheat flour. No extra trip to the store was needed, everything was already here. I love cooking and every time I use an new ingredient I am excited. I can't wait to find a new type of flour to use and make into another delicious loaf of bread, or dumpling, or cookie.

Handstands

2009-05-02T17:07:00.002-05:00

Spring time always makes we want to spend every moment outside. To run barefoot though the lush green grass, to read books under blooming trees, and mostly to do handstands out of happiness that the world is coming back to life. A calypso Hallelujah to bring us back into the social weather.

I am awful at handstands and that isn't usually a problem until spring rolls around and I want to do is see the world upside down. Even without the handstands I still am appreciating spring!

FYI

2009-04-26T17:06:00.002-05:00

I had a really sad night at work last night. I can't talk about why, but it made me realize that I don't tell my friends and family I love them as much as I ought to. I feel like this is a phrase that can never get old as long as it is genuine.

So to my family and dear friends, I just thought I would let you all know that I love you and I'm lucky to have you all in my life. Don't forget to tell others that you know you love them.

Fake Plastic Watering Can

2009-04-17T16:52:00.002-05:00

Spring is here, and with it spring cleaning. Everyday when I walk to the gym I see folks raking, sweeping, and working to beautify their homes. Today I saw a man planting flower trying to beautify his home. On closer inspection he was actually planting fake plastic flowers into his garden. I wasn't sure if I should compliment him on his gardening skills or just laugh and walk away.

It got me thinking. Why not just put down fake grass, then you would never need to mow it. While we're at it, why not have fake trees? Green all year round and you never have to rake. You might occasionally have to dust but otherwise, you a free to spend your time "outside" enjoying the yard you most likely pay a very high price for in Boston. Finally we can live in an environment we can totally control!

On the Road

2009-04-09T16:02:00.002-05:00

This last weekend I packed up Steve's Suburu and Beth and I followed the Grown Up Noise on the road to Albany and Rochester. I had such a great time road tripping with my cousin and cousin-in-law. We spent time with the kids in Rochester and had some time to hang out with the rest of the extended family.

What a nice way to spend a weekend. Good food, good friends and family, and good music. Highly recommended.

I'll Take It In Red

2009-03-27T17:53:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Steve and I spent the majority of our evening in Bed, Bath, and Beyond registering for gifts for our up coming nuptials. We systematically were lead through the store by a "wedding" consultant who told us why we needed 8 towels for our 1.5 bedroom apartment. When she saw the worried look on my face she asked me if we have closets, obviously that is where the towels would go. I started to explain to her that we only have one closet that was pretty much filled with the crap we don't have anywhere else to put the decided to abandon the argument. We requested them in blue for our non-existent house in the non-existent bathroom color scheme.

As it turns out, Steve and I really just wanted to register for stuff for our kitchen. Which we did with gusto. Pots, pan, skillets, microwave ovens, forks, knives, serving spoons are now sitting in a store waiting for a wedding guest to buy them. I'm not sure if I should obsessively log on to the store website to check out what we are getting or if I should let it be a surprise. Either way, I can't wait to start cooking with a pasta maker.

This Is The True Story

2009-03-25T10:08:00.002-05:00

Finally! An excuse to watch the Real World! Grownup Noise will have a song on the “The Real World: Brooklyn” tonight. I secretly have been watching the show since I moved to Boston so I’m pumped to have a legitimate reason to watch “good TV” as Steve calls it. So treat yourself to a guilty pleasure tonight and watch some MTV and hear my cuz’s song!

Minty Fresh Cardiac Arrest

2009-03-09T17:58:00.002-05:00

It was Sunday night, it was late, we had worked all weekend (with only 11 hours off between shifts thanks to daylight savings) all M and I wanted to do was find two seats together on the T. We looked around the car and spotted two seats at the very end of the car. I started towards them but abruptly stopped. The man sitting next to the only two open seats looked like he didn't have a home, was drunk, and was drinking Listerine. He must of have seen me stop walking towards him and turned because he yelled "hey F-- you" at us.

Thankfully someone moved so we did find a open spot to sit together. We talked about our day and stole glances at the Listerine hobo. Half way though the T ride I informed M that if the man who was voluntarily drinking ethyl-alcohol cardiac arrested on the T I would not perform rescue breathing. I would do compressions and I would debilitate him, but I would not put my mouth on his. She pointed out that you can make a tight seal with your hands and give rescue breaths that way, I told her she could try that as I did compressions. One look at his unkempt beard made her think twice about the hand seal.

Luckily the minty fresh homeless man exited the train before to long to "visit (his) girlfriend". And we were spared working after hours.

Who Is This Girl?

2009-03-02T14:10:00.002-06:00

Steve is back after a week away. I hate the person I become when he is gone. You would think that after I have lived 23 years pretty much a single woman I could survive a week without my boyfriend. Fact of the matter is I don't do a very good job of it. I make excuses like "I don't like taking care of the cat" or "The house creeps me out alone" which are only slightly valid for why I dislike that he is away. Through most of college I had an absentee roommate so I know how to live alone. I cat is only a pain at night or early morning.

It bothers me how much I miss him or how excited I get when he comes home. I tried to find stuff to do while he is gone but even still I miss him. I remember when I was in college feeling so independent and vowing never to become dependent on a man. I feel like I've betrayed that me. The problem is sometimes I wonder if that is a bad thing. Steve is soon going to be my family. I miss them when they are not with me. I don't see how this should be any different.

I guess, there is a little war going on inside of me. The side that wants to be an independent woman and the part that is going to be a devoted wife. The next few years should be interesting to see how I find a balance and be a balanced person both with and without Steve.

Tough It Out

2009-02-24T20:58:00.002-06:00

Saturday night Steve and I stayed out at the bars a little later then we would have liked. We ran to the T stop only to arrive moments before the last train of the night pulled into the station. We counted ourselves lucky and settled in for the ride home. Funny thing about the last train of the night is that it has to wait at every station while they lock up so as to avoid anyone getting stuck in a closed down T station. We were ok for the first 2 stops by the time we got to third I knew we were in trouble. Too many beers had made their way to my kidneys and now needed to exit my body. I had to pee. As we rolled into the fourth stop I sat on my feet hoping that it would help the now painful urge. We sat on the still train as the station was locked up. When the train started to move again I had to pee so bad that I began to feel nauseous. As the T slowly made it's way into central square I told Steve there was no way I could make it home. We had to get off the last T or I would have to buy new pants.

So we jumped off and ran out the gate as the T officials stood waiting to lock up behind us. I ran up the stairs and frantically started to look for anywhere that I could go that would not end up with me having to pay a fine for public urination. We found a bar and ran to the bathroom that was thankfully empty and felt the sweet relief of getting rid of a 24 oz. beer.

A Letter to the Creepy Man in the T

2009-02-20T12:43:00.000-06:00

Creepy Man in the T-
I don’t believe that you sell “spare change newspaper”. When I buy that paper from other people I actually get a paper to take with me. You just take money and walk away with the copy of the paper you are holding. I see you every day on my way to work. You walk up to everyone in the T stop and tell them you are selling a paper to help pay for breakfast for homeless people. I think you are just taking money. Stop asking me to “buy” your newspaper.

Also, don’t smoke in the T stop. At 6am no one wants to smell your cigarette smoke in the enclosed underground T. You are a jerk and you are breaking the law!

Also, I’m not sure why you wear large dark glasses while you walk around. You are not blind. You manage to find lots of people to walk up to and ask for money. You look like an idiot with them on while you are underground.

Sincerely Yours,
Maria

They Say It's Your Birthday

2009-02-15T17:17:00.002-06:00

I seriously think that it won't matter if I'm turning 26 or 62 I will always get excited for my birthday. It's crazy to think that 26 years ago today after almost 24 hours of agonizing pain my mom gave birth to me. One second there is just a pregnant woman screaming and the next second there is another person in the room who is now screaming about being born.

Happy Birthday to me!

Piss and Vinegar

2009-02-05T15:57:00.001-06:00

Our cat Moose is a free cat. He comes and goes as he pleases. There are a few perks to this: no litter box to clean, no mice around the house, and an overall happy cat. There is also a few bad things about this: a dirty cat, dead animals in the house, and the occasional “other” cat who comes in the cat door.

There is a brown and black Mainecoon that has been entering our house with increasing frequency. It started out as every few months he would pop up, then monthly, now it is about twice a week. It’s usually late at night when we are either sleeping with Moose in the bed room or in the evening when we are watching TV. So for last few weeks we’ve been awoken by Moose screeching at the foreign cat in our house. Then last night we were once again awoken both by Moose sounding the alarm and also a very unpleasant smell. Apparently one of the cats (Steve thinks it’s the intruder) peed in the house to mark territory.

As I have found out, the pee that cats pee to mark their territory is a special kind of pee. It’s almost straight ammonia and one of the most difficult smells to get out. We found a website that stays that apple cider vinegar will remove the smell from rugs and bleach (with water) will take the smell out of wood work. So we have now washed down the rugs, and walls, and now are working on the couch with oxyclean. I’ve also made cookies to cover up the smell and it seems like it is getting better. Or at least we tell ourselves that until we leave and come back and smell the stink again.

Anatomy of a Wedding Breakdown

2009-01-29T16:14:00.000-06:00

11:30 am-Check mail on the way to gym and see that you have received a notice that your wedding dress is in. Get excited.

11:45-At the gym thinking about your wedding still excited.

11:50-Start to think about all the traveling you have to do before said wedding and all the work left to do for wedding and start to get worried.

12:pm-Start on the elliptical at the gym and begin to really stress about getting time off of work to get in all the dress fittings/showers/planning you need to do.

12::15-Start to wonder if this is how you want to have your wedding. Planning from afar with too many people invited for you to spend time with. Whose wedding is this anyway?

12:45-Resolved to call mom to freak out.

1:00pm-Talk to trainer at the gym and make an appointment to loose weight so you can look good in your wedding dress. Since you can’t seem to loose weight on your own.

1:45-Finsh at gym feeling miserable like you won’t loose weight, you are not sure you want to have such a big wedding, and start to entertain the idea of scrapping all your planning and start over from square one.

6:00pm- Fiancé comes home from work to find you in the kitchen still freaking out. Gives you a hug and tells you that it will be alright and knows that he means it.

IT WILL BE OK!

Repeat as needed.

Running On Ice

2009-01-23T18:14:00.001-06:00

Last Sunday I was determined to go running when I woke up. Then I looked outside at the 6+ inches of snow and decided to rain check my run. So once things warmed up a bit I ceased the day and laced up my running shoes and away I went. I was a bit nervous about all the snow and now the melted snow that had become ice so I took my cell phone with me in my pocket just in case. I figured that the snow banks were so high that it was conceivable that I could fall and lay on the cold sidewalk with a broken leg and be unseen by the street. Having a back-up plan seemed like a good idea.

So I ran. It was a great run until near the end where I ended up sliding down a hill and jumping into a said large snow banks to avoid falling. And while my cell phone was not needed for emergency purposes I did get a phone call from a friend who I was meeting up with later in the day. The cell phone will now become a permanent fixture on my runs as long as I have a pocket for it (i.e. until it's warm).

Proof that the Ballot is Stronger than the Bullet

2009-01-20T22:53:00.005-06:00

We sat in a bar full of people that was completely silent. Everyone stared transfixed by the 3 large flat screen TV's mounted to the wall. We watched while history was made. Barack Obama became president. Most people in the bar, including myself, were holding back tears as he was introduced as our new president. While he read his inauguration speech we sipped champagne. Then when he was done, the bar emptied as if nothing special had happened at all.

I'm still inspired and a bit teary from all the emotion today. And I'm pumped to see where the next 4 years take us. Something did happen today.

Really Cold?

2009-01-16T18:10:00.002-06:00

So the "big drop in temperature" that was expected to hit the east coast is here. I must say I'm not impressed. Yes it's cold but then I see pictures of people in Minnesota where it is really cold and I think, ehh it's not too cold here. I don't get that feeling the my face is freezing when I go outside. What I feel is the real difference between Minnesota and Boston is the lifestyles.

Here in Boston, walking or the T are the primary form transportation for most people. While in Minnesota most everyone has a car and the few unlucky people who do take the bus in Minneapolis are the subject of pity for the people who drive past them. Here my house that is only a 5 minute walk from the T is a great deal where as in Minnesota the feeling would be more along the lines of "You WALK OUTSIDE for FIVE MINUTES?!"

So I guess it comes down to a trade off. A fairly good public transportation system for hardiness.

Busy?

2009-01-12T18:50:00.002-06:00

I got an email from a friend recently that went something like this: "Sorry I haven't talked to you recently...I've been busy but I'm not sure with what." As soon as I read that sentence I immediately knew what she meant. I feel like I'm busy but I'm not too sure I have anything to show for it.

I only work 3 days a week so that means 4 days our of the 7 day week I don't really have anything going on. Yet I'm "busy" with going to the gym, cooking, cleaning, PT, and wedding planning.So while I do feel busy I'm not sure with what. Maybe busy with my every day life would be the only way to phrase it.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T15:51:00.002-06:00

We were a bit slow with our Christmas cards this year. So if I miss you or you didn't get your card yet, Merry Christmas!

Surprise!

2008-12-22T10:39:00.002-06:00

The ground work had been placed over a month ago when I noticed that I was scheduled to work an extra day the week after Thanksgiving. When I brought the subject up to the woman who did our time plan she told me that the floor was really short the week after Thanksgiving, so ,maybe should could just take me off another week, maybe the one before Christmas? I jumped at the chance. I was suppose to fly in to Minneapolis on my mom's birthday, but now due to the change in my work schedule I could come in the day before.

I called my dad, and after explaining the plan of a surprise for my mom, we came up with the idea for me to fly in. I would have a friend pick me up at the airport, and for my Dad to take my mom out to dinner on Thursday for her birthday. I would meet them at the restaurant and surprise her.

It was hard not to tell my mom I was coming home a day early. I almost let it slip out a few times, but by the time I was taking off from Boston there was nary a leak in our plan.

I sat huddled in a booth at restaurant by my house waiting for my parents. I knew they wouldn't be long because my dad had called me on his way home from work when he was only a block from my house.

I heard them come into the restaurant and my dad walked around the corner and said "This looks like a good place to sit." My mom took one look at me and almost fell over in surprise. She started to cry and we hugged. It was a good surprise and good birthday present. The best part is that the next day there was a huge snow storm that hit Boston so instead of sitting in Logan for a delayed flight I was able to take my mom out for a birthday lunch and go shopping with her.

Happy B-day Mom.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

2008-12-16T16:28:00.000-06:00

This year Moose got both Steve and I a present. That present, given on two separate days, was a dead bird. He even left one under the tree. How thoughtful!

With A Bow On Top

2008-12-15T21:10:00.002-06:00

Growing up my Aunt would send us Christmas presents with the most beautiful and elaborate bows on them. Velvet, glitter, satin, the bow would always be impressive. I had always hoped that one day I could make equally beautiful bows to send to my nieces. Now that I have nieces to send presents to, I thought this would be my year.

Until fate in the shape of a fat, furry, orange cat stepped in. It seems Moose has a certain obsession with any sort of ribbon or bow. I had wrapped the gift for my in-laws and placed a shiny bow on top of it. I tucked it under the tree for Steve to take home with him. The next day, when I got home from work the bow was sitting next to the gift and pushed under the tree. I though maybe it had fallen off when I watered the tree in the morning so I placed it back on. Out of nowhere Moose ran in and smacked the bow off the present. He gave me a look like I had just committed some type of horrible crime then started chewing the ribbon tied to an adjacent box. He has even gone so far to sit on top of the box to get a better angle to chew the ribbon in.

Moose has now torn all ribbon off of the gifts under the tree. We have many presents wrapped and sitting under our cozy tree, waiting for their recipients to open them. They just don't look right without a bow though.

Arrival/Departure Update

2008-12-05T21:02:00.003-06:00

Steve got an earlier flight then he was scheduled to. As a result, he came home as I was doing the dishes and singing along to "I'm the one who wants to be with you" at the top my lungs. We kissed, we hugged, it was a tender 80's band moment that was a bit cheesy.

Moose was so happy to see Steve he even put up with being in the middle of our hug.

Arrival/Departure

2008-12-04T20:21:00.002-06:00

Steve is coming home tomorrow. I always picture his homecoming the as a scene from a romantic movie where I drive to the airport to pick him. I run through the moving walk ways to greet him just as he is passing the security check point. I stop for a moment, our eyes meet, he sets down his bags and overcoat he has slung over his arm and open up to hug me and lift me off the ground as I run up to him. He hug, we kiss, it's truly a sappy moment.

Reality? I'm going to be asleep when Steve comes home tomorrow. He asked if I wanted him to wake me up and hesitantly told him yes. I'm sure we will kiss each other hello and as I drift back to sleep I'll mention something about the open can of cat food in refrigerated.

Welcome home.

Come Home Soon

2008-12-01T21:15:00.002-06:00

When I was a kid every time my dad left for the weekend/business trip something bad would happen. The toilet would break, the sink would plug, a squirrel would get into the house. Anything could happen. We all sort of braced ourselves for what would be the next thing broke/unusable/trapped until my dad came home.

Living with Steve has been no different. Steve's been gone for almost a week now on business and since then Moose has managed to expose himself (and me) to a fiber glass fort he found in the basement which required me to give the cat a bath. Not something I would like to ever repeat.

Also, the black cat, from last month’s adventures in home invasion, has come back into the house and helped himself to cat food, prompting Moose to have a stare down cat fight in our kitchen. (All these cat problems for a girl who considers herself a dog-person).

I'm not saying these things are happening because Steve is gone, but it is a weird coincidence.

A Very Quiet Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T17:13:00.002-06:00

For the first time in my life I will be totally alone on Thanksgiving. Steve is in Chicago working, P&B are visiting family, and my high school friends have elected to have Thanksgiving with their families instead. Needless to say I am slightly bummed.

When I moved away from my family to become a nurse in Boston I knew that this would mean that I would miss many a family moment due to the distance. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, ect. But this is the first time that it really feels I'm missing out.

To top it off, I'm working 11am-11pm at work on the actual holiday. This is an undesirable shift on a normal day but a down right bummer on a holiday.

So help yourself to some extra mashed potatoes on Thursday for me. I'll be in Boston with the 4 cats I'm cat I'm taking care of, and working.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

2008-11-19T17:31:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago Steve and I got a new neighbor. Our landlord informed us about a month before that someone had rented out the top level of our house and would be moving in soon.

"She's a nurse practitioner, but I think she looks a little young to be in that profession." He told me. "She's about your age."

I was already excited to meet her. The day she moved in I felt something akin to the feelings I had moving-in day at the dorm. Her family helped her unload her U-haul and move everything up three flights of stairs. I sat in my apartment and observed the chaos of moving. I wanted to be her friend so badly by now.

The next day I ran upstairs with a fresh batch of cookies to welcome her to the house. She invited me into her still packed house and we talked for a bit. We made vague plans to hang out sometime and I left feeling excited by the fact that I was on the cusp of having a new (and super conveniently located) friend.

I started to think about how awesome it would be to have a friend who lived in the same house (but not same apartment) as me. It would be like living in the dorms in college! That was when the pessimistic side of me took over. I'm not in college, and this is not the dorms. She could be weird/creepy or just not fun. She would always be around weather I wanted to do something or not. I'm trying keep my dorm theroy working but as of today, the most I've seen her is in the morning when we have to move the car so she can get out of the driveway to go to work.

I want show her that I am friendly with out being overly excited for a friend (or becoming the creepy one). I think a pie should do it.

Goal!

2008-11-12T19:42:00.004-06:00

So in planning my own wedding I've become fascinated by what didn't work at other weddings. Was there not enough booze? Was the balloon arch too big? How did it work out to provide child care? and so on so as to prevent any crazy mishaps during my own wedding. I recently was reading on a website named something along "if I could do my wedding over again" and found a couple of suggestions.

Suggestion one:Don't have lots of kids at your wedding and a chocolate fountain. Solid advise.

Suggestion two: Hire a wedding coordinator for the day of the wedding. No girl wants to be asked as she is walking down the aisle where to stash extra programs. Check.

Suggestion three: Lose weight...Duh!

What a novel idea, lose weight for my wedding? Thank god I found this website to instill this little known fact, that weight loss on the day you will probably have to most pictures taken of you in your entire life, is as good thing (sarcasm is heavy here folks).

I have now been working out regularly for one year and while I haven't made much change on the scale I did hit a mile stone this last week. That's right my friends, I lost an entire jean size!

I called my sister form the GAP dressing room to tell her the exciting news.

"Guess what I'm wearing right now" I sequel/whispered to her?

"There are so many ways I could go with that" she answered.

"I'm wearing size (one size less than I was) jean!" I said as I checked myself out in the triple mirror.

"Awesome! Wait though, do you really fit in the jeans or do you look like you are trying to wear a size smaller jeans which in the end dose no one a favor" she clarified.

I assured her it was the real deal and now, almost a week after buying, washing, and wearing the jeans are stretching out and could almost be a wee bit big.

So, I'm pretty proud of myself even though I don't have the pounds to prove it.

The Cat Came Back

2008-11-06T20:05:00.000-06:00

Last night I had just settled back into bed after a 3 am bathroom run. Moose was snuggled on the back of my left leg and I was just about asleep when Moose let out a loud hiss and what is the cat equivalent of a scream. I sprang over and looked around to find out what made my cat freak out like that when I saw an outline in the doorway to my bedroom.

A small Maine-coon cat stood in the doorway staring in at Moose and myself as we slept, and was now frozen in mid wander. This particular cat had come into the house via the cat door one other time that we known of and had only made it into our kitchen before being discovered and scared out of the house. I was so scared that I was alone at home and there was a foreign thing in the house that I yelled “GET OUT OF HERE!” as loud as I could and jumped out of bed to make sure the cat got back out of the cat door. I went back to bed as Moose started to search the house for any sign that the cat may have marked the house as his.

Now that it’s daylight I feel guilty for chasing what could be a stray cat out of my warm dry house out into the rain. I’m not sure if I hope the cat comes back or not but if he dose I would prefer it is during the daylight hours and when Steve is around.

I Voted

2008-11-04T17:11:00.002-06:00

I specifically requested today off of work so I could go vote. I didn't want to find out at the last minute that I had to work a twelve hour shift and miss out on voting in this election. People died for my right to vote, women were locked in jail and force fed food so I could vote. The least I could do is show up and participate in democracy.

When I got to my polling place the line to vote stretched out the door of the retirement home, down the street and curled around the block. I had some what anticipated a wait and had brought my ipod, book, and good standing around shoes. I lost my self in the music and the world of my book for about one hour. When I looked up I was at least on the same street as the polling place was being handed a free hot chocolate from Starbucks. The woman behind me with her two kids was trying to entertain them and control them at the same time looked a bit frazzled.

"Jimmy, do you want the hot chocolate the nice lady is giving to you?" She asked.

Jimmy did not want the hot chocolate. Jimmy didn't want to be in line and most of all, Jimmy did not want to be standing around a busy street with his sister and his mom. The 4 year old was done. He started to scream.

"I hate hot chocolate! I hate stupid girls! I hate stupid boys!" Up to this point everyone wrote Jimmy off as a frustrated kid standing in line on a beautiful day when he would rather be playing. We all simpathized until he shouted "I hate black people!"

Wow. His mom looked down at him with a disapproving look and asked him why he would say such a thing. She looked around embarrassed at the people around her in line that were now staring at her son with a disgust in their eyes.

Jimmy answered that he didn't know why he said it and she put him on time out staring at the brick building we were slowing filing into to cast our ballots.

His sister assured us that her mom was voting for Obama. Awkward!

The Halloween Spirit

2008-10-29T21:20:00.002-05:00

I love getting excited about things. Ask Steve and he will tell you I am the ultimate fair-weather fan, groupie, and clinger-oner. I love getting excited with other people about things. The best thing to get excited about is the up coming holiday season. Not Christmas (you can't get excited about that until after Thanksgiving.) I'm talking about Halloween. This week has been a months worth of holiday excitement stuffed into 4 days.

Sunday, after getting home from my third 3 12-hour work day in a row, Steve and I decorated the house with our various Halloween decorations. From the pumpkin lights to the pirate skeleton, all are out to shine and fulfill their Halloween destiny. Monday I invited a couple of friends over in the afternoon and made various Halloween cookies including candy-corn and sugar cookie cutouts. I then spent most of the evening listening to "The Nightmare Before Christmas" Soundtrack and decorating said cut-outs. Tuesday We carved our pumpkins as both of us will be working until Halloween. Tonight I cooked and feasted upon the pumpkin seeds as Steve and I planned the final parts of our costumes.

I think my favorite part of Halloween is when all the kids come trick-or-treating here. I still get excited even though now I'm on the opposite end door then I have been for most of my life. I can't wait!

With Hesitation

2008-10-27T21:43:00.001-05:00

About a month ago my friend K at work got a phone call that went something like this:

"hi, this is Bob, your friend from high school."

K: "I don't have a friend Bob from high school... Is this a joke?"

Caller: "No, I know you, you drive a blue neon, you got married last year to Rob, and you work at MGH."

K: "Who is this? Is this some kind of joke?"

Caller "I'm watching you."

End of phone conversation.

Yikes! After that phone call K called the police, changed all her information, and deleted all of her online accounts. The Police think that because K is a nurse that the person who called her was a patient or a family of a patient. Apparently being a nurse makes you an easy object of fixation for people.

While I learned this in nursing school, I never have encountered it in real life. It's scary. To be honest it has made me really hesitant to post on my blog. It is a bit of a double edge sword, on the one hand I want people to be able to read about me and my life here, but I don't want it to become a way for someone who is crazy to hurt me.

So, I continue to blog because I like it despite the creepiness in the world. Because it helps me feel close with people who I'm not geographically close to. But I won't be joining Facebook anytime soon.

The Dream Dress

2008-10-23T20:39:00.002-05:00

Ask any girl what here "perfect" wedding dress looks like and I'm sure she can at least give you a few choice adjectives. Even girls who say they never want to get married have some idea of the "perfect dress". So as I started to look for my "perfect" dress I a few ideas and a lot of anxiety.

The week before I went dress shopping with my mom I had multiple dreams regarding the search for the dress. One where I woke up yelling "I'm not wearing a kimono!" and another were I am continually trying to wear a lace dress but when I put it on it is a completely different dress.

The day the was designated "find the dress day" in my calender started off to a slow start. I, for the most part, wanted to avoid most large wedding chain shops and stick with local small business. The first shop we went to did not have much in the way of the kind of dress I wanted so we quickly moved on to the next store.

The second store was a lesson in retail. We were the only people in the entire store for the most part so every dress I tried on was met with "awww, you look so beautiful, that looks perfect on you" and "You have the perfect figure to wear this dress." It's hard not to be flattered but as I changed back into my jeans another customer came in to try on a coat and was met by the same "awww, this coat is perfect for you, it's like this coat was made for you." With a grand total in my hand for a dress and veil equaling twice my budget I left the second store at least an idea that there was a dress out there for me.

The third store was completely packed of girls and their moms shopping for dresses. I tried on what seemed like fifteen dresses before I tried one on that was different then any other dress I had worn. "This is a beautiful dress" my friend B told me. I looked in the mirror not completely sold until the bridal consultant came up and clamped and pinned the dress so that it would fit me like it would if it was my size. I looked the mirror and tears started to form in my eyes. It was the "perfect" dress for me. It had all the things I was looking for in a dress that I would wear as a bride.

So, we got a dress! (and for $300 less than my budget for the "perfect" dress.)

Go Green!

2008-10-12T21:07:00.004-05:00

I just signed up to have 50% of my electricity to come from a renewable resource, like wind power. To do the same go to nstar.com and click on the nstar green link to convert your houses energy to a more eco-friendly fuel. I truly believe that only by having people support these kinds of initiatives will we be able to move away from big oil and other harmful fuel sources. Convert now!

A Day in Twenty Dollar Bills

2008-10-05T12:55:00.002-05:00

First $20-A few weeks ago I asked B to she wanted to run a 5K with me. I've never run in any sort of race and had been fascinated by the idea of running a 5K road race. So after paying our small $20 entry fee and getting our "official" 5K shirts we lined up with the 1,000+ people at the start line in Somerville and started our race. Neither B nor I had really trained for this small run so we were both pleasantly surprised at our time. With only one quick stop to tie a untied shoe lace, we finished with a decent time of 34:00 min. Some might say this is slow but we were impressed with ourselves so don't harsh our mellow. Turns out B is a pretty good pacer with myself and we had a good time. Steve met us at the finish line with coffee.

Second $+20-My cousin's family was in town and staying at B's house so after our race I went home and showered and then headed over to hang out with the extended family. Kids are so funny and full of energy. We amused them for a short while by taking a Boston duck tour. The kids weren't really into learning fun facts about Boston but they were into having the duck go into the water.

Third $20-A ticket to the Mason Jennings concert. Mason Jennings is one of my favorite artists and his songs are so beautiful. It wasn't the best performance of his I've seen but it was still pretty good.

Yesterday was so much fun and a beautiful day. I loved it.

Vote Moose

2008-10-01T21:50:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have been making jokes about the ruggedness of Sarah Palin recently. I’ve heard multiple jokes on both the Daily Show and Colbert Report about the Alaska governor getting attacked by a moose and that started me thinking. What if Sarah Palin wasn’t attacked by just any moose but by my Moose?

Come to think of it, Moose and Sarah Palin have a lot in common. They both like hunting and fighting. Both make poor decisions, and have (or could) cost me a lot of money. Come to think of it, Moose has been acting a lot more patriotic recently (just like Sarah Palin)!

These colors don’t digest well.

It is conceivable that Moose could indeed attack Palin in a bid to impersonate her until the November election. So remember, a vote for Sarah Palin would be a lot like voting for my cat. Trust me on this one; you don’t want to do that.

Glad Game

2008-09-30T10:56:00.002-05:00

The weather in Boston as of late has been crappy. It's rained, it's been cloudy, and his been so muggy that my feet stick to our wood floors if I sit too long in one place. I have decided not to complain about it, but instead to play the glad game in regards to the weather.
-This is great soup weather, taco soup, pumpkin soup, lentil soup, all sound great right now.
-Moose is inside more so I feel more like we own a cat instead of an idea of a cat.
-It's the perfect time of year where you can wear long pants and flip flops (a favorite combo of mine that can only be worn a few weeks out of the year without extreme uncomfortableness)
-I don't feel as guilty for spending my days off inside in my PJ's watching TV/on the internet.

Check it out Boston, it will be sunny again and in the mean time enjoy a nice cup of tea in your jammies while watching TV.

Hello

2008-09-24T18:03:00.002-05:00

So, it's been awhile since I posted last. There are many reasons for this but I hope to remedy this soon. I've been working a lot and work has been depressing. Without giving too much information, let me just say it's hard to take care of someone who is not dying but sure isn't living. I've been more emotionally distraught by this patient then any other I have taken care of. My days off have been mostly recovering from work. I'm hoping to do a better job of leaving work at work and to live my life at home more. More posts are to follow, I promise.

Track Suit Up

2008-09-12T16:52:00.001-05:00

I’ve started to run again. I feel stronger then I have in a long time and it just seemed like a great way for me to get an extra day of cardio in without having to go to the gym. So I laced up my shoes and started to run the bike trail near my house and expanded from there. Somehow the idea of running a 5K got into my head and I started to snoop around for any races in my area and ended up with the Somerville 5K for the homeless coalition. I was at first excited about it but my excitement quickly turned to anxiety. What if my knees can’t take 5K? What if people laugh at my slow running? What if people try to push me off the route? So with this in mind I asked B to run with me. Lucky for me, I got a two in one, with my other cousin-in-law joining in the race.

So the Hansen girls will be running a race together and I’m excited again.

My-Big-Fat-Greek-Patient

2008-09-08T22:08:00.002-05:00

I had a patient last week who was one of these adjectives. Since I can’t say to much about the people I take care of I can’t tell which but when I asked him if I could shave his uni-brow into two separate eye brows he told me

“No.”

He-Said-She-Said

2008-08-26T21:49:00.001-05:00

Recently I was talking to a very close friend about her ex-boyfriend.

“I never liked him” I gushed over the phone to someone who I don’t talk to as much as I should.

“You know, everyone keeps telling me that. Why didn’t you tell me when I was dating him that you all hated him?”

This brings us to a dilemma. Do we tell our close friend, the friends who we would tell anything about ourselves, that we don’t like the person that they are dating? I guess this gets down to the root of the problem, ‘why don’t you like the person they are dating’? Do you not like them because of the way he or she looks/acts/dresses? Or is it something deeper? Do you fundamentally not like this person because of the way they think/believe/or are.

Personally I’ve done both. I once told a close friend that I did not like her boyfriend because I thought he was narrow minded and a mean drunk. That I did not like the way that she acted around him and that I thought that she was changing so that he would like her more. She got mad and we are not friends anymore (they boyfriend and her are married now with their first child on the way).

Conversantly, when I’ve kept my mouth shut, avoided the topic and just kept my head down, the said boyfriend/girlfriend has ended up breaking my friend’s heart. This usually turns out to be the best in the long run for every one. But is it? If my friend hated Steve would that change my mind about marring him? I doubt it, but I would want to know why. All my friends tell me they ‘love Steve’ but what do they say to each other. Can we really trust our friends to give us an honest opinion of our significant others?

Or should we go with our own gut feeling? Maybe an objective third party can help? I’m not sure of the answer. All I know is that everything in me tells me that Steve is right for me. And that is enough.

Everyday Glam

2008-08-25T15:05:00.001-05:00

One of my co-workers has encouraged me to adopt the “everyday glam” philosophy last week. What is everyday glam? As Topher explained it to me, everyday glam is taking something you do every day and glam it up. For example, if you are having a frozen pizza for dinner tonight instead of cutting it into slices cut it into strips and make a couple of dipping sauces for yourself. If you are going to have a beer after work, treat yourself to a frosty glass. When doing you hair in the morning, go ahead a wear your fancy barrette for no reason.

So far, the small everyday treats have been awesome and I would encourage any one to glam up there everyday life.

Moth Genocide

2008-08-18T15:50:00.001-05:00

It started a few weeks ago when I opened the kitchen cabinet and let out a scream. Actually it started before then when we bought a grain product that was contaminated with moth larva. From there the moth larva became caterpillars and eventually moths. Pantry moths to be exact, that then infested our kitchen cabinet eating all our grains, nuts, teas and backing supplies.

Unable to deal with the extensive cleaning required to rid our house of moths I killed all the moths and caterpillars I could find and hoped that would be enough. According to the internet, and also our experience a few days later, it was not. To kill pantry moths one must discard all grains including pasta, nuts, teas, organic cereal, and organic granola bars that are expensive but taste so good when dipped in applesauce. Everything in our cabinets got tossed with the exception of 2 jars of unopened jam. We then proceeded to wash down the cabinets with hot water followed by a vinegar rinse. We hoped it would be enough.

Much to our chagrin we saw an occasional moth, then a few moths a day, then a couple of caterpillars. We are back at where we started with fewer moths but again faced with the task of cleaning everything in our kitchen with vinegar and committing moth genocide.

Sick Kitty

2008-08-10T18:07:00.000-05:00

Moose stumbled in from the rain on Friday night wet and dazed looking. “Look whose in” I yelled over my should to Steve as I started to get cat food out for our long absent cat. Steve got up and started to take a closer look at Moose and realized that, not only was he bleeding from a cut on his should but his neck and face were swollen.

Steve quickly called the vet and a few minutes later we were in the car speeding away to the emergency vet in Wobern. Once there Moose was whisked away and examined. The vet came into the small room we had been ushered into and told us that Moose did have a couple of deep scratches. She told us that the best way for her to assess how bad they were was to sedate him, shave him, and clean the wounds. We agreed and Steve and I watched through sliding doors as Moose was examined. The vet later came in and told us the cuts were minor but, was still at risk for infection. She also told us that he had a low grade fever and would need to take antibiotics for a few weeks. Oh, and also since we don’t know how he got these cuts he would need to be quarantined in our house for 45 days in case of rabies.

This is confusing. Moose had his rabies vaccine in March and isn’t the entire of vaccinating your pet against rabies is to prevent rabies? Apparently the state of Massachusetts is pretty strict about rabies. We were also informed that our cat should wear a cone around his head for the next two weeks to prevent him from licking his wounds (I find it hard to belive that he will really be licking the wound on the bottom of his chin but this is beside the point). We left the emergency hospital a few hundred dollars poorer and with a cat that had already managed to remove the cone before we even got to the car.